Jon's Lexicon

Most of these sayings are from well in the past, when Jon hosted daily
sports-talk shows and did a lot of play by play. But, maybe you’ll get a
chuckle or 2…and, hopefully, won’t get too offended!!
1-900-JON-FINE: Jon’s fictitious 900 number for the ladies.
Triple-Double: What Jon says he averaged playing H.S. Basketball…if pressed, he will
admit that these triple-double stats: 28 points, 14 rebounds and 14 assists, were from lay-
up drills prior to the game.
Automoatic Chopsticks Wasabi Finesocki: Name Jon created for himself when a
Janapese restaurant was a sponsor in New Orleans. Has been resurrected, at times, for a
sponsor of our Denham Springs sports programming.
“Bawww…Where was you raised? We down South”: reaction to anyone using a big
word or expressing anything that can be perceived as anti-Southern.
Bay Bay O Ja Ron: The way, back in the day, to properly pronounce LSU Football coach
Ed Orgeron’s name…Coach Orgeron gave Jon this lesson in 1991, when Jon interviewed
the then University of Miami assistant…then called BeBe Orgeron.
Bullseye: On play-by-play, a shot that hits nothing but net. A tribute to childhood idol
John Sterling (whose patented call was made on NY/NJ Nets broadcasts). Sterling is
presently the play-by-play announcer of the NY Yankees.
Esther Anderson: UGLY; Fred Sanford’s sister-in-law Aunt Esther.
Family Program: It is a dysfunctional family…but Jon Fine Productions programming is
family programming…or so Jon alleges.
F.B.M.O.A.: The Future Big Mike’s Of America, an organization Jon says he has
founded for high school kids that attended The Dru Nettles (Radio) Show at Big Mike’s
Sports Bar and Grill.
General Studies: What every LSU football player majors in…was Kinesiology back in
the day.
“Have a good day (evening), everyone”: Standard closing that Jon uses on play-by-play
and as a former sports-talk host…the way legendary NY sports talk host John Sterling
used to close his show, back in the day, on WMCA Radio-NY…another tribute to Jon’s
childhood idol.
HIPPA Laws: Whenever LSU doesn’t want to release info on an injured player, they cite
the HIPPA laws. Jon cites these laws, quite often, as the excuse for not answering the
caller’s question. In actuality, Jon doesn’t know the answer to the question posed.
“How’s The Wife & Family”: Said by Jon to his color commentators in the waning
moments of a close ball game…yet another tribute to John Sterling, who would say this
back in the day on NY/NY Nets broadcasts.
Is So: Jon says it’s his middle name, given to him by Louisiana women.
Jon Fine Sports Productions motto: “Remember, sports are not life or death…They’re far
more important”: stolen or amended from someone, not sure who.
Lesbian: Any single woman that turns down Jon on a date request…Jon concludes there
could be no other plausible explanation. (Editor’s note: Replace Lesbian with Smart.)
Lunatics: Not all, but many, if not most, stand-alone A.M. Radio station owners. Jon has
had his share of dealings with such….and probably has elevated cortisol levels as a result.
Mamou, Louisiana: Jon says it is his home town. If pressed, he will admit it is a suburb
(1700 miles southwest) of Valley Stream, NY, where Jon was raised.
Moooooohstafa Vuvuzela Baba-Ganoosh: When trying to avoid detection from certain
people (often creditors), Jon assumes this name.
Pamela Lee Anderson: A big bust in sports context…EG, Ryan Leaf is a Pamela Lee
Anderson…used to be knows as a Dolly Parton.
Propaganda: Any printed material promoting Jon Fine Productions programming.
Southern Bias: Jon’s sarcastic explanation, at times, for when LSU or the SEC has been
perceived by a caller to have been dissed.
SportsGumbo One: Jon’s car’s former name. Coined by the late Baton Rouge sports-talk
host Bryan Rushing.
Tailback: What Jon used to play in both Basketball and Baseball…whenever he got up to
go in the game, the coach would say: “Fine, get your tail back on the bench”.
True Sports: Football, Basketball, Baseball and any sport directly related to a current
UCLA: Where Jon says he was an All-American in college basketball…Jon then
transferred to Ohio State, where he had an All-American career in college football. This,
of course, all preceded Jon’s All-star career with the New York Yankees…All of this usually comes up when a caller questions Jon’s right to comment about sports when he
never played college or professional sports.
Unemployed: everyone affiliated with his call-in show (except sponsors!): callers,
listeners and, most accurately, Jon.
“Why Don’t You Shut Up?”: when Jon doesn’t have a response to a good insult a
broadcasting partner or a caller has leveled against him…stolen from either Archie
Bunker (Carroll O’Connor, not Tom Benson) or Fred G. Sanford.